Summer often changes the rhythm of family life.

School routines slow down, calendars become more flexible, and many children have new opportunities to connect with others through camps, neighborhood activities, vacations, sports, volunteer work, jobs, or simply spending more time together.

For some children, these experiences are energizing.

For others, they can highlight challenges that are easier to overlook during the busy school year.

Some children eagerly seek out friendships.

Others want connection but aren't sure how to build it.

Some are happiest with one close friend, while others find larger groups exhausting.

This month, we're taking a closer look at relationships—not simply as something children enjoy, but as one of the most important ways they grow.

Relationships are one of the most important classrooms children will ever have.

For toddlers and preschoolers, that classroom may look like learning to share toys, take turns, join another child in play, or recover after a disagreement.

For school-age children, relationships become opportunities to cooperate, negotiate, understand different perspectives, and develop lasting friendships.

For adolescents, relationships grow even more complex as they build trust, communicate openly, manage conflict, explore romantic relationships, and discover where they belong.

These experiences aren't simply social milestones—they help shape the thinking AND emotional brain.

Through everyday interactions, children and teens gradually learn to:

• understand another person's perspective (e.g., flexible thinking)

• communicate thoughts and feelings clearly

• read facial expressions and body language

• solve disagreements

• tolerate disappointment

• repair misunderstandings

• adapt when plans change

• balance their own needs with someone else's

For some children with CHD, these experiences unfold differently. Early or ongoing medical experiences, missed school, fatigue, anxiety, language differences, executive functioning challenges, sensory sensitivities, or other neurodevelopmental differences can make social interactions more demanding.

It often means they benefit from opportunities that match where they are developmentally.

Do you notice any of the following?

• your child struggles to join or maintain social interactions

• your child connects mostly with adults and less with peers

• group activities seem overwhelming or exhausting

• your child wants friendships but has difficulty building them

• your adolescent or teen doesn't share the same interests or conversation as same age peers

For parents and caregivers:

• Think about relationships as opportunities to build skills along a continuum-- from initiating (e.g., meeting or greeting a new person), maintaining and deeping (including dealing with conflict), and saying goodbye (e.g., moving away, "breaking up", or loss of loved one).

• One meaningful relationship is more valuable than many casual acquaintances.

• Look for environments where your child feels comfortable enough to participate— preschool, camp, robotics club, scouts, youth group, sports, volunteering, or simply spending time with one trusted friend.

• Support diversity of social experiences, not just those where a device is the mediator (e.g., multiplayer gaming, texting, social media). Face to face experiences are so important.

• After social experiences, ask reflective questions like "What did you enjoy?", "What felt challenging?" or "What would you like to do next time?" Reflection helps children build awareness and confidence over time.

Kids with CHD are wise old souls. Many have lived a big life..... already...... and this can make it harder for them to find their village.

It's easy to measure social success by what we can see.

Are they alone in group school photos?

How many friends does my child have?

Did they get invited?

But a feeling of belonging is what we all need, and this is harder to see. For example, a child may be very social but still feel "alone". Another child may prefer to play on their own at school, but feel deeply connected with one neighbor friend at home.

There isn't one "right" way to be socially connected.

The goal is helping your child develop relationships where they feel accepted, understood, challenged (to grow), and able to be themselves.

For parents and caregivers:

• Notice where your child seems most comfortable being themselves.

• Encourage quality over quantity. One trusted relationship can support development in powerful ways.

• Your child's friends don't have to be the same age to be meaningful. For CHD kids with developmental differences, sometimes older or younger peers are a better fit.

• When talking with your child about social challenges, try to save this for a private and calm moment where any embarrassement can be lessened.

• If relationships remain consistently difficult, remember that social understanding continues developing well beyond adolescence and young adulthood. You might talk with your school and medical team about opportunities for social skills groups in your area.

One question worth asking this summer is:

Where does my child seem most connected—not just to other people, but to themselves? And then how can you nurture this....

Notes About the Newsletter: Each month’s newsletter highlights a few themes that commonly come up for families raising children with CHD. As your child grows and circumstances change, different topics may feel more or less relevant over time.

This newsletter is for educational purposes only and does not replace individualized medical or behavioral health care. For urgent concerns, contact your care team.